Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,
Dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Penyayang
 |
| February, 2019｜Ghajn Tuffieha, Malta |
Let me tell you a little secret of life…🙌✨
Each of us is a lost soul in pursuit of
happiness. Believe it or not we are blind enough with all those made-up
happiness. We thought we are on the right track towards the eternal happiness.
But, when we finally at the ‘finish line’, we end up feeling nothing. Well,
indeed some of us got married, some manage to build a business empire, while
some others just arrived home from the graduation ceremony. You finally got what you chasing for, you
thought it would be the moment you feel most alive. But, no! Because at that
moment when you packing up your luggage , you realized you were there. Again.
The ‘starting line’.
Fresh start. New start.
There you go, seeking for another happiness.
Endlessly.
I was dumb & blind too. Back to the years
I was in Moscow, when I lost my own ‘happiness’ ( to do good in academy), I
gave up & thought I’m already fucked up. I seek another ‘happiness’ which
absolutely just made everything worst. I was at the bottom. But, at the end of
my degree story, I finally managed to graduate on time. Which of course I
thought I finally got what I’ve always wanted in my life - to get the scroll.
But, instead of feel the most alive, right after I took the scroll, down the
stage, I felt complete nothing more than just like a usual kind of happy. The
same feeling as you just won a grand prize. You know,
“Oh, great! I graduated! …..yeah I just
graduated…hmm…”
It took just awhile for me to realize that to
graduate a 4 years of study is just “Meh”.
But, to finally keep staying alive, fly back
home to Malaysia for good is the most thing I’m ever proud of myself at this
moment. “Dude, life was horrible back there. Really tho”. You wouldn’t believe
I almost lose total of myself there. There are so much untold stories between
me & Moscow. Only God knows.
What I’m trying to tell is we do not need to
chase happiness. There is no rush in pursuing happiness in life. Yes, life has
limit. You’re not immortal. Someday you gonna be old and one day you will die,
living all behind.
Now, you see. What really makes us happy is
not at the end of it. Forget the ‘finish line’, forget all that made-up life’s achievements or the
dumb My-Bucket-Lists-Before-I-Die or… whatever. Just stop running. I deeply understand what is the meaning of
life if we don’t have a purpose. It’s true. Without purpose, we lost. And so as
important the purpose of life is, it’s also necessary to understand your truly
purpose of life.
People intend to have a great purpose of life
because they thought by doing so they will finally achieve the ultimate
happiness. But, without we notice, it’s more likely a kind of propaganda
that turns it into a race. A race of
happiness pursuit.
I tell you what? What we all actually looking
for or I must say what we all need, is just the feeling to be ALIVE. To be
satisfied with the life that we living in. To finally wake up each morning
& say “I’m a happy living man on earth!”.
Recently, we’re all stuck at home due to the
situation that happening around the world right now, Although, for me it was
nothing at the first two weeks of MCO (Movement Control Order). But, after
almost one month stuck alone at a home without TV, without oven so that I can
bake, without cat that I can play with, and mostly without someone to joke
around, to just have a talk. It’s getting more frustrating than peaceful.
I feel completely empty. I lost my desire to
do things, to wake up every morning. It suck to be alone & lonely. I’ve
lost it. But, not so long after I’ve lost my meaning of purpose, I somehow
realize on something. And that’s what brings me to get back on my writings. I
got the idea for my writings after I left it hanging for quite long break. It’s
0225 in the morning right now and my brain still flooding with all the ideas.
A realization behind the stressful MCO I
would call it. Haha
I lost interest to absolutely nothing when I
stuck at home. So, I was unhappy and deeply down. Like really boring kind of
life. My daily routine would be from 1500-0300, wake up, lunch, movies, dinner,
movies again, then I sleep (I know of cos solat lah) and the cycle keeps on
rolling. It’s really an unhealthy life tho.
But, then I realized when the ideas for my
writings just pop-up, I can’t focus on anything else than to my writings at the
moment. And I just keep realizing that every time I find some NEW things to do
like yesterday I just ordered, well…let say I’m wasting my money on a roll-up
digital piano that I bought from Shopee. I’ve always wanted to own a digital
piano (the professional one). Its really excite me. Can’t wait to have it soon
& play. So, I guess this is the right time to buy and start to play again.
Enough with my story.
Okay, so here we go. Well, your life’s gonna
look dull & gloomy if you simply live the days. You set the same alarm time
every morning to go to work, you use the same route each day, at work you deal
with the same problems, you met the same people, then you thumb-out, start your
engine & go home, at home you either sleep or on your day off you rather stay
home watching TV, OTP with your beloved, playing video games or instead above
all, you choose to get more sleep.
That 24/7 daily routine will crush out your
life. Then you claim that you are not happy with your life. You started feeling
anxious by comparing how great your friend’s life is. You started blame
yourself as a failure, choosing the wrong career, wrong purpose of life. Then, came
the depression episode. Actually, your life is just fine. You are
doing good in your career. There’s nothing wrong with yourself, unless one
thing – the way you live.
If you turn & look back, what makes us
feel that our life is suck is actually because of our COMFORT ZONE. Honestly,
comfort zone for me is a silent killer to our life. As you grow older, if you
still stay the same ‘you’ like you were 20 years ago, your life is suck, man.
It’s a sad true.
!!! Do not stay at a comfort zone for too
long !!!
Try to find as smaller new thing as you can.
Instead of starting with a new volunteering project in Palestine, start with
just helping whoever in needs around you. If you already get bored with your
daily routine right now, change it! Break the rules! If you always staying up
all night, sleep early today. If you started feeling ugly looking at yourself
through the mirror, go buy new dress, get a new hair cut or whatever that makes
you feel beautiful again! Give yourself a treat of Godiva chocolate ( it would
be once in your life time to eat a Godiva chocolate you know, because it’s hell
expensive. So, why not?) , you hate how messy your bedroom? Well change it,
dude! It’s your bedroom, your kingdom. Change new flowers at the window, clean
your bed. If you got tired of your job, well…. Don’t’ quite, you stupid! Not until
you secure a new one. Instead, take a leave and go travel the world. Traveling
is the most valuable thing ever happen to me as I found my meaning of life
through it and that’s why I couldn’t help to stop from traveling.
Do whatever changes that’s gonna makes you
feel something new is happening in your life.
CHANGES.
That is how you fulfill your life with
thousands of new happiness! Changes are the things that will light up your
gloomy life. With changes, you find new purpose to wake up every morning and start
do things. Without we notice, actually all the happiness is all around us. Being grateful for the small little things is a blessing that people nowadays forget how to.
Changes is the tiny little secret of life towards a greater happiness.
So, start change today! 😉💓
